Chapter 10: Decision Hygiene — and Soulmates, Part 1

Chapter 10: Decision Hygiene -- and Soulmates, Part 1

On “The Good Place” Chidi is paralyzed by choices at all stages of life and afterlife – and on the podcast, Jon and Dan own up to their own indecision sources, explore the processes of good and bad “decision hygiene”, and open the conversation about soulmates. Find complete show notes for the episode here!

Texts
(Go to Jewish Lexicon on this site for more on Jewish terminology, names of texts and other background. The links here in the citations take you to the specific quotes in their full contexts.)

Babylonian Talmud, Eruvin 13b

Rabbi Abba said that Shmuel said:
For three years Beit Shammai and Beit Hillel were divided. These said: Halacha [the law] is like us, and these said halacha is like us.
A Divine Voice came out and said: These and these are the words of the living God, and halacha is like Beit Hillel.

And if both these and these are the words of the living God, why did Beit Hillel merit to have the halakha established like them?
Because they were agreeable and lowly,
And they would go over their words and the words of Beit Shammai,
And not only that but they would put the words of Beit Shammai before their own words. 

Midrash Bereshit Rabbah 68:4

A Roman matron asked Rabbi Yosi ben Halafta, "In how many days did God create the world?" He said, "In six, as it is said, 'Since six days God made...' (Exodus 20:11) "And since then," she asked, "what has God been doing?" "God sits and makes matches: the daughter of this one to that one, the wife [i.e. widow] of this one to that one, the money of this one to that one," responded R. Yosi. "And for merely this you believe in God!" she said. "Even I can do that. I have many slaves, both male and female. In no time at all, I can match them for marriage." Said R. Yosi:"Though this may be an easy thing for you to do, for God it is as difficult as splitting the Sea of Reeds." Whereupon, Rabbi Yosi took his leave. 

What did she do? The matron lined up a thousand male and a thousand female slaves and said: You marry you -- and married them all off that night. The next day, one slave had his head bashed in, another had lost an eye, while a third hobbled because of a broken leg. She said to them: "What happened to you?" and each woman said to her: "I don't want this one,” and each man said to her, “I don’t want this one.” Immediately, she sent for and summoned R. Yosi and she said: "There is no God like your God, and your Torah is true, pleasing and praiseworthy. You spoke wisely." He said to her, "Didn't I tell you? If it appears easy in your eyes, it is as difficult for the Blessed Holy One as splitting the sea." 

Genesis 3:6
(We didn’t mention this one yet but could have, and we’ll definitely discuss it in a later episode!)

The woman saw:
that the tree was good for eating
and that it was a delight for the eyes
and the tree was pleasant to contemplate
and she took from its fruit and ate
and she gave also to her husband and he ate.

Deeper Dives
Jon is almost done with a dive into the Beit Hillel-Beit Shammai text we referenced, not in the context of individual decision and certainly not about soulmates, but exploring and critiquing pluralism — whether or not we do or should believe that two choices could be equally good. There’s a glossary at the end, since it’s written originally for an audience who knows Talmudic terminology. Feel free to peek at the current draft!

Dan refers to “decision hygiene” from Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment — a new book by the dream social-science team of Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony, and Cass Sunstein. Read something short from them here or listen to Professor Kahneman here on “Hidden Brain.”